Recently, I attended an event with singer and songwriter Warren Barfield, who wrote the song “Love is Not a Fight” that was in the movie Fireproof.
He told a very funny story about a fight that he and his wife had early in their marriage. It had to do with pretzels and a clean floor. Anyway, the point he made was that we need to fight FOR our spouse, not AGAINST our spouse. He and his wife were fighting against each other, not for each other. It almost ended their marriage.
How many of us do the same thing?
Most of us? All of us? Probably.
I know, its hard. Relationships of all kinds are difficult.
Marriage is really, really difficult.
Pastor Tim Keller in the book “The Meaning of Marriage” says that marriage doesn’t create our character flaws, it exposes them. It’s like a magnifying glass; issues that were hard to see are now big as life and right in front of us. For ALL of us.
In the Gospel of Mark there is a passage where Jesus is teaching about marriage. In chapter 10:9, Jesus says regarding marriage, “… let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
Let NO ONE split apart what God has joined together.
Often in this context we think that OTHERS shouldn’t break apart our marriages. And that’s certainly true.
But WE are also a part of “no one”!!!! WE cannot and should not do this to ourselves. We cannot and should not do this to our marriages!
Husbands and wives are supposed to be each other’s greatest champion, defender and confidant.
We should be best pals.
We should be an unbreakable team.
It’s us verses the world.
I’ve got her back and she’s got mine.
We should not only be helping each other with mundane, day-to-day parts of life, but also helping each other with becoming better people, more like Christ! Encouraging and helping each other to live Holy lives.
This is what we are called to do in marriage. But we cant do that if we’re fighting against each other.
WE must fight FOR our spouses, not AGAINST our spouses.
Scripture link: Mark 10:9
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